Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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