today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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