girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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