And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
