Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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