that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
