if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I believe in your delicious
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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