I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
