I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
