We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
