I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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