i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
