Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
