Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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