Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
