Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
