If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
