And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
