my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
