He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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