so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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