His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
