I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
