I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
