is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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