Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
