WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
