I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is Oprah even human
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
