I showed him my bush... on skype.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize