3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.