I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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