apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?