Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
