he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
