I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
