I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
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We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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