best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
