You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
