Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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