I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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