So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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