yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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