He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
