why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
