Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize