So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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