And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
