I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
