Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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