he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
