what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
this is an emotional support booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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