I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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