you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
