Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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