I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
