She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
