if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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