rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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