uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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