Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize