butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
