Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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