Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
