That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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